Expats - Part I

It’s rather ironic to talk to some of the expat colleagues, on the very anniversary of the earthquake, about what they see as injustices. We had a small gathering amongst the coordinators of all the projects, Haitians and expats alike, around our pristine, reverable palace, by the pool, gorging on grilled pork, stuffed aubergines, bacon-pecan-crusted potato salad, crevettes, saucisson, olives, too much wine, rum and béer, and a beetroot chocolaté gâteau. Not only did most expats not attempt to incorporate our Haitian friends in the discussions or joviality, but later they accused us of not knowing the local situation and how it is to live in want.

The expats’ -- maybe just to chalk it up to a select group of québécois expats, most of whom are on their first mission or work expérience abroad -- idea of want is to live sans internet and all the amenities they consider « normal » for a few days, as they have to make the transition to another résidence. The move has been one of many difficult negotiations : for the proprietor to finish all the réhabilitation work, thereby probably exploiting a labour force during the holiday season, in order to have hot showers, functioning electricity, gorgeously-made furniture procured, kitchen in function. The proprietor, of course, has many justifiable reasons for delays, in terms of obtaining permits and other bureaucratic necessities to do the work, as well as many excuses, invoking concerns of security from récent violent political manifestations (even tho there were none for the last month). Point is, there are reasons for delays, and why things don’t go so smoothly in Port-au-Prince.

But I find it hard to digest, at this dinner, when talking amonst our Haitian staff who participated in our fete, to find out that they do not have TV, radio, internet, running water, many friends nearby or with free time, access to alcohol to wash away their already congested malaise with the situation in Haiti . This is normal hère. So to impose any other perspective is completely luxurious and irrelevant. Instead, when telling aforementioned expat malakas, that they will be without internet or a few amenities for 1 or 2 days, I enter angry conflicts claiming how unfair it is, how they could possibly live like « nuns » ?

How they could possibly reflect on such a day of immense dévastation and incompréhensible human suffering, that their wants outweigh the dignity and essential needs of every fucking person around them. When just 50 feet away are tent cities, where people are forced to eek by, contining to do so one year after the earthquake. This disconnect and « otherness » is too sickening to describe. So don’t blame me if I don’t regularly partake in their célébrations and social activities, in a country that I can’t help think deserves sober commitment, gratitude, and opportunities upon which to learn more from folks who have come to know profoundly about life, death and aspiration, plus des autres places I’ve been fortunate enough to go.

Henceforth, I feel quite lost and disillusioned in terms of the fuckwits that we keep recruiting ; is it part of some sick québécois nationalist joke ? Why send people with no previous project management expérience to do the jobs of Haitians ? Why assert such rhetoric that we are in collaboration and capacity-building partnerships with our Cite Soleil comrades (true, we do have more established liasions and histories within our projects than some of the other foreign NGOs) when we turn around to burn our beneficiaries, through lack of communication, lack of trust, lack of consulation, lack of empathy.

Or am I just imagining such ego-centricism ? Even if my French is not perfect, I know an asshole when I see one.

So yeah, I am blown away that even though I had another violent argument with a lush, even in front of my Director General, that the favor goes to the megalomaniac, whinging blan -- that their needs are ultimately superior than every bloody person I see and meet during my day. These kinds of disparities, discrimination, ségrégation, subjugation, patriarchical attitudes, etc etc etc, that one sees in Haiti are at the very frontlines -- made more visible hère -- of the kinds we witness and absorb in our every day lives in other parts, perhaps more privileged regions of the Western Hemisphere.

I cannot write enough, or sufficiently express the rage I have, within this context…but hopefully this bequeaths some sort of knowledge that can transcend my anger into discussion, dissémination and action!